If I have to hear Liam whine another second I think my ears are going to melt right off my head.
He is sick. And he is driving me bat shit crazy. I get that he doesn't feel good. I really, really do. Mostly because he doesn't ever stop reminding me of that fact. But also because sick and I have become quite chummy this season. I think I have been down with one thing or another for 28 weeks of this now 30 week pregnancy. Sick and I are well acquainted. So please, please forgive me if I do not have a single shred of patience left to deal with the endless drone of high-pitched demands that continously pour forth out of my 3 year old's mouth these days.
Nothing is said in a normal tone and very little makes sense or his helpful to me in any way. I cannot for the life of me figure out what he wants. Probably because he has no clue himself. Yet he continues to insist on my compliance.
" Mooooomeeeeeee. IIIIIIII'm hungreeeeeeee" (yea right)
"Okay, what would you like to eat?"
"IIIIIIII dooooooooon't knooooooooooow"
" A peanut butter sandwich?"
"noooooo"
" A smoothie?"
"NOOOOOOOO"
" Crackers and cheese"
"NOOOOOO.....DOOOON"T SAAAAAAAY THAaAAaaaT" (how dare I)
Or
"Mooooomeeeeeee.....IIIII waaaant soooomefeeeeeen"
"Hmmm....what do you want sweetie?
"SOOOOOOOOOMEFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"
"OK. Some milk?"
"nooooo"
"Your bink?"
"NOOOOOOO"
"A snack?"
"NNNOOOOOO"
"Green boogers?"
"NONONONOOOOO"
"Oh. Slimy green boogers then."
"NOOOOOOOOOOO"
"Dog poop?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"A stiff drink?".
"nnnOOOOOOO yoooou caaaaaaan't saaaaaaay thaaaaaat!!!"
Or
"I want Daddy"
(thank god) "Scott, you're being summoned"
"nnnnNNOooooooo tooooopid Cott"
"That's not nice. How about just 'Scott'?"
(husband) "Or how about Daddy?"
"toopid Daddeeeeeeeeeee"
"Close enough".
All. Day. Long.
And it isn't just the whiny words......the nails on a chalk board cadence to our day. No. Of course not. It is also, mostly really, the Tarzan yodel whine that has no purpose other than to make me twitch and rock curled up in the fetal position in a corner of the living room.
It is a sound I have only similarly heard on one of those New Age-y Native American chanty type CD's, usually accompanied by a pan flute. But in that case it also involved me laying buck naked under a white sheet while strong hands kneaded me with oil and the scent of patchouli wafted through the air.
I assure you this is nowhere near that relaxing.
I told Husband that he needed to record it to play on a loop at my funeral because it will surely be what kills me.
May I rest in peace.
3 comments on My ears, MY EARS!!!!!
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Someday this will all be a distant memory.............someday.
Ha!
I *so* get this. You know that, right? And I laughed out loud at the "Or how about daddy" bit.
I hope things pick up for you. Don't you wish there was a manual written on entering another new dimension of pregnancy while mothering a three-year-old?
I think that all three-year olds must do this. It's lovely, eh? Bring on the ear plugs. Mine is into the "stupid" thing too...it's fantastic. I just love the gleam in his eye when he says it to get a rise out of me. Oy.
BTW, WHAT THE HELL is up with all this Blogster change?? I've been gone For*fu**ing*Ever!!!! Wow.